Can you be straight and go to a gay bar

Over the weekend, Outan American LGBT magazine, published an op-ed calling on gay men to "stop telling women they can't be in gay bars. I myself tweeted the article out and posted on Facebook, saying that actually, no straight people regardless of their gender should go to a gay club without an LGBT person having invited them.

What followed was a day of angry straight people accusing me of discriminating against them, without even a hint of irony that gay clubs wouldn't exist if straight people didn't discriminate against us in the first place.

Why Straight People Shouldn't Come To The Gay Bar Uninvited

Amanda Prestigiacomo even wrote about how horrible I am at the Daily Wire. Still, I stand by my assertion. Straight people, whether men or women, should not go to a gay club unless they were invited by an LGBT person. The gay club is not for you. What this comes down to is straight people who are simply not used to being told they may not be welcomed based on their sexual orientation.

This is something lesbian, gay, and bisexual people are pretty familiar with. We are ostracised from our churches, from our schools, from our families, and even from our jobs. We can't even walk down the street holding hands without the fear someone will bash us for a bit of mild PDA.

I get that this is uncomfortable to hear. It's uncomfortable for me to say, because I always assumed it went without saying if you were a true ally. True allies understand that they are not entitled to a marginalised group's space or time or companionship. Gay clubs first began popping up in the twentieth century as sanctuaries from oppressive policing and heteronormative culture.

They were one of the only places gay, bisexual, lesbian, and transgender people could go and express their sexuality and gender identity without much fear of persecution. Over the years, from the raid at the Stonewall Inn to the Upstairs Lounge Fire, the Admiral Duncan bombing, and the mass shooting at Pulse, gay clubs have been attacked specifically because they allow us this freedom that many, even inotherwise feel as though they lack in wider society.

These are safe spaces, sacred even. They are not zoos. I've seen it in London. I've seen it in Chicago. I've seen it in every single city I've ever gone out in. Maybe you don't think you're like that. Maybe you're not. But for a great many LGBT people who don't know you, your presence can be suffocating and put us on edge worrying about what you and your posse might do or say.

Will you grab us? Will you tokenize us? It's quite the killjoy. When you're with another LGBT person we know you're fairly likely to be safe.